Carter Partick Ridge Delaney

I started writing this post over a month ago, but it was too hard. I decided shorten it and was finally able to finish it...

I had the hardest phone I have received on August 10th. My mom called me to tell me that my 20 year old cousin, Carter, had been found dead. He had been attacked and killed by his brother's pit bulls in their house. He was found by his grandfather, my Great Uncle, who basically raised Carter. There are more details, but its the most horrific story I have ever heard so I will spare you from the details.

Carter is my second cousin. His mom, Shelley, and my mom are first cousins. They live about an hour away from here. We were very close when we were younger, but had lost touch for a while. Carter had survived bone cancer and the past 9 months had been coming to my mom for physical therapy. I would go over to the house to visit with him and Shelley. We were reconnecting, which I was thankful for. My last memory of Carter was sitting in my mom's kitchen. He called my mom a "physical terrorist" and we were joking about that. He was such a funny kid.

The first time I met Carter...he is 4 days old.

The viewing was very difficult. The first person I saw was my Great Uncle Paul. I hugged him and he began to weep on my arms. He looked at me and told me that he had a huge hole inside his chest that will never be filled again. It was an open casket which was hard for me to handle. I lost it when I went to see Shelley. She asked me to go to the casket with her and say a prayer for her and Carter. Through the tears I was able to force out a prayer. My brother was very strong while we were in the funeral home, but once he and I got into my car he broke down. There was only one other time that I have seen him break down like that...when I told him our parents were getting a divorce. That night we went back to my mom's, had dinner and hang out as a family.

The next day was the funeral. When we got to the church I gave Shelley a hug and she wouldn't let go of my hand. She asked me to stay with her until the funeral started. Whenever anyone would walk in the room we were in she would introduce me to them and tell them that I find my strength in my Christian faith. The service was a full Catholic mass, which really frustrated me. It wasn't personal. Not a single personal story about Carter. The priest didn't know him at all. After the burial we headed to a friend of Shelley's who had a reception. It was a celebration of Carter's life.

Saturday Shelley and Uncle Paul came to my mom's house. We were all exhausted. Shelley came shopping with me, to keep her busy and we just hung out.

That weekend was so hard for me. I felt that I had to be strong for my family, especially Shelley. I was glad to be there for her but it took a lot out of me. I really wasn't able to grieve until after the weekend with the family, and even now over a month later I'm trying to figure it all out. I don't think I will ever have all the answers, but I know that God is good even though horrible tragedies like this happen.


The service being a full Catholic mass allowed me to share my thoughts about God. I was able to share with my mom and my brother how God is much more personal than how he was depicted in the mass. He would much rather hear our cries, hurts, and how we really feel instead of the memorized prayers that were said. My mom was more responsive than my brother and we discussed this for a while. Ironically the day of the funeral was the 13 years to the day that I had accepted Christ into my life, and I was able to share that with my mom. I don't know what she took from the conversation, but it was the longest discussion that I have had with my mom about my faith and a seed was planted.


RIP Carter Patrick Ridge Delaney...you will forever be loved and never be forgotten.

Birthday Surprise!

My brother and I planned to surprise my dad for his 60th birthday. I called his work and got his birthday off for him, so Kyle and I headed north! It was a very nice time hanging out with family. My grandma and her husband Mike were also around visiting, which was an added bonus! I could tell that my dad really appreciated us coming up for the weekend to celebrate and spend some time together.


On Sunday my brother left early to get back to work and my dad had to go to work. I spent the day with my aunt, Grandma and Mike. We headed to noon mass together. I grew up in the Catholic church, but it had been a very long time since I had been back. I was really interested to listen to everything that was being said, since when I was younger I didn't care so I never paid attention. Its amazing how when you have certain things ingrained in your head that you remember them no matter how long its been. I remembered all the prayers from years ago. It struck me while we were in the mass that it is all about the rituals. I said the prayers that I was supposed to say, but for me it was mumbles and I didn't even think about what I was saying. Listening to the priest, he wasn't passionate about what he was saying, it was just the scripture to share for that week. Everything was so ritualistic. It made me question what in my life am I making ritualistic? What do I do because I need to check it off my to-do list, instead of doing it because my heart is in it?

When church was over we went out to brunch. Great food and great company, then off to the airport I went to head back home. It was great to be with family, especially my grandma. She is such an amazing woman!! It was a great weekend!! Happy Birthday Dad!

Every need has a name…Every name has a story.

This statement was the theme of Serve the City. We were constantly challenged to recognize that we are needy and recognizing that through “I am…I need” statements.

I am tired…I need rest.

I am a sinner…I need a Savior.

There were many people who I met and a few who really left a mark on my heart…

ODEANA

The first day we were traveling to different parks around the city giving hugs to anyone and everyone who would take them. Andrea, one of the teenagers on our team, had given a woman a hug, but came to me and said she really felt that she needed to go back to the lady. She asked for my lotion from my bag and went back to sit with her. Andrea learned quickly that the woman didn’t speak English, and was unsure of what language she spoke. She took the lotion and started to rub it into the woman’s hands. The woman started crying, and Andrea, being a compassionate person, started crying with her. They sat together for at least 30 minutes before our group had to travel else where.  I looked at the two of them wiping tears from their eyes, and told Andrea that it was time to leave. She tried to say goodbye to her new friend and collapsed in my arms sobbing. Through the sobs she said, “Erin, she is so lonely. I don’t want to leave her.” At that point I became teary eyed, and had an idea. I took a picture of Andrea and her new friend and we tried to communicate that we would be back. Andrea and I wandered the area looking for a kiosk to print the picture and bring it back. After 45 minutes of searching we were successful and went back to the park. She was so excited to see us coming back, and started crying again when we handed her the picture. We tried to communicate our names to her, when finally she pulled out her identification card. We learned that her name was Odeana and she was from Romania. We tried to invite her to the festival we were having on Saturday, but the invitation was in French and English, so it didn’t help her much. Every time we passed that park we would look for Odeana, but we never saw her again.

LATIFF

The second day of serving, the Stop the Traffik team (They worked in the Red Light district to bring awareness to Human Sex Trafficking) came across an abandoned office building that housed over 450 refugees who were there as squatters- men and women in protest because the government failed in giving them their papers. The Kamikaze Kindness team went there to bring them water and cleaning supplies. At first it was very intimidating to talk to the men as they surrounded us and were trying to take our pictures. I didn’t want my fear to put a barrier between the men and I, so I started talking to the ones who could speak English.  I learned their stories, how many of them have come to Brussels hoping for a better life and have been squatting for 8+ years waiting for their papers. Many of them didn’t work since they weren’t legal citizens, so they just waited for the day that they would receive their papers. Their integrity was admirable. Within the building there was a sense of brotherhood. They took care of each other and had writings all over the walls about how uniting together they would get their papers. Latiff was one of the men that I met. He came to Brussels from Morocco hoping to have a better life. He was so welcoming to me, offering me tea and something to eat. We talked for a long time and I invited him to the festival. He left a mark on my heart the way that he welcomed me into his home (or room) and served me, when I had gone to serve him. Later that week the first person that I saw at the festival was Latiff! It was so great to see my new friend again and hang out the rest of the day with him. I was running the 3v3 basketball tournament at the festival so I was able to get some of the guys to play basketball with him. When he finally had to leave I could tell that he didn’t want to. He told me that I was a good girl and he was so thankful for our friendship. He also said he had never had such a great day as he did that day.


NASSIR
I didn’t meet Nassir personally, but some of the kids on my team did. He was also in the refugee squat waiting for his papers. Nassir welcomed John, Andrea, and Chad by cooking them food and making them tea.  He shared his Islam faith with them while they were sharing their Christian faith with him. During the conversation Nassir shared that they had created a Mosque within the building and asked if they would like to see it. They went to the Mosque and Nassir showed them what an Islam prayer was, telling them that they could take pictures. When he was finished John asked if he had ever heard a Christian prayer before. Nassir hadn’t, so John asked if he could pray for him. Nassir responded that he would be honored to have them pray in his Mosque, so they go on their knees and prayed for Nassir!!!

JAMES

On the last day we were cleaning up a nearby alleyway that was littered with trash. It looked like it was becoming a landfill it was so trashed. I was walking back to the EPEE center where a STC volunteer was asking if there was a car that he could use to drive a homeless man, who couldn't walk, to another part of the city so he could get his money. Unfortunately, all the cars that we had access to were in use, but Carlton (who was in charge of STC) quickly volunteered me to go with him and try to figure something out. By the time we got back to the homeless man some other Serve the City volunteers had met him and were trying to help him. We decided to call a cab. While we were waiting we learned that his name was James. Once the cab arrived we were walking James to get into the car, but when the cab driver learned who he would be transporting he drove away. We tried to think of what we could do, when I realized that Little Sisters of the Poor, which is a place for the elderly, was right down the street. We borrowed a wheelchair from them to push James across town. We finally got to the post and got him his money, and then pushed him to the store where he bough cigarettes and beer. We went to a nearby park and hung out with him for a while.

This trip really showed me to see people as people and not as the stereotypes and labels that the world has given them. People just want to be loved.  I pray now that I won’t allow myself to fall back into the hole of having a self-centered life– that instead I will constantly be looking for ways to love the unloved.  I want to learn people’s names and stories rather than seeing them as people with a need.

Serve the City...

Serve the City is showing kindness in practical ways to people in need. For the week of Serve the City there were 30 different projects to sign up with. Some of the projects included working with elderly, children, refugees, women, or doing practical work (painting, etc) at different places. The 6 of us signed up for Kamikaze Kindness, the project that sent us wandering the streets of Brussels looking for ways to spread love and hope through the city.

We did a wide variety of things throughout the city! The first serving day the dance team from South Africa traveled with us. They would do their dance to draw a crowd. Here is a video of them at the Skate Park we went to clean up and talk to kids.



We gave out free hugs to anyone and everyone! We walked around the city holding signs saying "Calins Grantuit" (which means free hugs) and would walk up to people and give them hugs.

One of the kids at the Skate Park grabbed the "Free Hugs" sign from Trevin and started going around to girls to get hugs from them. Trevin took the sign back but told the kid that he could make his own sign. Our paths crossed with those kids 3 times that day, and they had made their own Free Hugs sign and were giving free hugs to strangers just as we were!!
Twice we went to the train station for part of the day and waited for trains arriving from Paris and London and welcomed them to Brussels! It was a lot of fun yelling "Welcome to Brussels!" as they walked through to door and give people hugs. It brought many smiles to people's faces. I had one woman say to me "You don't know how much I need this hug right now." That made it so worth it!

While I was waiting for the rest of our group I was able to help a mom who was trying to control her kids while waiting for someone. Her kids weren't listening to her and running around everywhere, so I pulled out some bubbles that I had in my bag and started blowing them. The kids immediately turned and started playing with them. The mom looked and my and said "Merci! Merci! Merci!!" Its fun the little things that we can do that mean so much to people!

Cleaning was a big part of our serving. We carried trash bags and brooms with us wherever we went and cleaned anywhere we saw needed it. Chad was excellent with his cleaning skills! Friday, the last serving day, someone stumbled across an alleyway behind an apartment building that was FILLED with trash. It looked like a landfill. We spent the entire day on Friday cleaning up the alleyway and someone called the city to have them come and haul away what we put together. As we were leaving Carlton shared that they want to try to plant a garden where all the trash used to be.

Here's a video of the alley with Trevin's narration...



Cleaning up the alleyway...

John and Chad bagging trash

 

Trevin and I sweeping away! 

Andrea! 

Robyn cleaning up trash

What a great week...and this is just a taste of the things we did! 

The days in preparing to Serve the City...

I've been home for a week and a day...and I'm still processing a lot. As the lessons that I learned are still churning inside my brain I will share what we did while we were there, starting with the few days before Serve the City actually started...

Friday was a adjustment day. We flew all night Thursday night and arrived Friday morning. We were given a mini tour of the city by one of the interns. It was basically his job to keep us awake for the day since we were all dragging from the travel! I was up for over 36 hours straight since I don't sleep on planes!

Saturday all the volunteers gather at the EPEE Center, which was our homebase for the week. Carlton, the leader of Serve the City, and team lead for the Christian Associates team in Brussels, shared with us about Crossing the Line and Serving the City. Within Brussels there is a distinct line. There used to be a wall around the city, where on one side the poor lived, and the other is where the rich lived. The wall is no longer there, but now there is a vertical divide where it used to be. There is a lift (an actual elevator) that divides the city. At the top of the lift is Palace de Justise, the Courthouse, and where the rich live. At the bottom is where the poor reside. The EPEE Center is just below the lift. Pictured on the right is standing above the lift looking down to where The EPEE Center is. The lift is in the left of the picture.

We split into different sessions to learn more about the culture within Brussels. I went to Understanding Islam first, which was interesting, but I felt like we got the smallest taste and I have so much more to learn! The second session I went to was Stop the Traffik. This session showed my ignorance and how naive I am within the world of human trafficking. Phil shared an audio interview of a woman who was dating a guy and after several months they traveled to France together, and then he made her go to Italy with him. Once they went to Italy the boyfriend began selling her. Her parents would call but he was always with her, so she had to lie about how things were. She ended up getting really sick and was in the hospital for a week. During her time in the hospital she was able to call her parents and tell them the truth. Her parents came and freed her from the guy. Sadly, she can't bring it upon herself to change her number so the guy keeps calling her and telling her that it was all a misunderstanding and is trying to get her to come back. He has been calling her for 2 years now.
Sex slaves aren't the only way people are trafficked. Stop the Traffik has targeted the chocolate industry. They played this video for us...




The end scene breaks my heart where you see a little African child having his first taste of chocolate. He has been working long hard hours harvesting the cocoa beans not knowing the goodness that they create!!
Stop the Traffik has gone after a European chocolate company who after 2 years of them getting in their faces about child slavery has said that they will use fair trade cocoa beans for the biggest selling bar. Stop the Traffik then targeted Mars Chocolate and after only 2 weeks they said that they will only use fair trade chocolate for their biggest bar now, and by 2020 use only fair trade. Nestle is their next target.

I had no clue about human trafficking, especially in the chocolate industry....again there is so much more that I need to learn! If you want to learn more check out stopthetraffik.org.

On Sunday we went to different churches. Robyn, Andrea, and I went to Vineyard church. It was a small english speaking church outside the city. It was a nice service, and everyone there was especially nice and welcoming towards us. After the service we went to lunch with one of the worship leaders, Stephen. His wife was away visiting one of their four daughters in England so she wasn't able to come with us. We went to Pizza Hut! It was the nicest Pizza Hut I had ever been to! After lunch he took us to their house which was really neat! Then we walked around a market that was going on down the street from where he lived. It was a HUGE market! Here is a picture of the 4 of us. Get used to the blue shirts because we wore them every day!

After we headed back to the city we went to All Well Worship. The Well is the church plant that Christian Associates has started. They have 4 (maybe 5) different expressions. Some meet in the morning, some at night, some target families, some single people, etc. This night all the expressions came together. Carlton was telling me that they have a hard time getting most of the people to come to all Well Worship. It was a neat service. We met in a huge, gorgeous, old church. There were stations set up around the room, each one representing a different Beatitude. Once the stations were over there was a time of worship, Carlton spoke on their continued series about Desire, and more worship. We headed down to EPEE for dinner together and called it a night!

It was crazy everything we packed into the weekend...and this was all before Serve the City actually started!!!

I'm Home...but I don't think my heart is...

I got home Wednesday night. Our plane landed at 7:30 pm. It feels very strange to be home again. Our time in Brussels was amazing. I was so impressed with the kids on our team. Our comfort zones were stretched, we served with all our hearts, made new friends. Truly an amazing trip! I'm still processing a lot...as I have tons of stories to share and as I process things I will post them. For now here is the video of the week that one of the interns put together, and the song "Names" written by one of the high school students who lives in Brussels and his parents are missionaries there.

BRUSSELS BOUND!

That's right!! Its finally here!! We leave this evening for Brussels! This time has gone by so quickly!!

We are super excited to see what God has in store. Our team has signed up for Kamakazie Kindness where we will go through the city everyday looking for ways we can serve people; whether its giving someone a flower to brighten their day, sweeping a storefront for a store owner, we want to look for people's needs so we can learn their names and hopefully hear their stories.

I love our team! We are small but mighty! We have a blast whenever we are together, but we also have prayer warriors on this team! Please pray with us over the next 2 weeks while we are gone.

Pray for:
- team unity
- that we can step way outside our comfort zones
- the hearts of the people in Brussels we will be serving
- safety while traveling
- our relationships with the CA families we are serving with

I hope to be able to post quick updates a few times while we are there to let you know how we're doing and what to pray for!!

But for now...Brussels here we come!!! :)

Father's Day a little early

The weekend before Father's day I went up to NYC to my brother's place to celebrate Father's Day. It was a great time hanging out with my dad and brother. We went to a BBQ Block party for lunch in Madison Square Park and then off to the Yankees game! Both my dad and brother are huge Yankees fans. The new stadium is amazing!! Here are some pics:

 

Walking from the Subway

 

Walking into the door
 

Dad and Kyle checking out the retro beer cans

 

It was a rainy day so the field is covered. You can see the field from inside the entire first floor.   So you can get your food and not miss the game! This is standing behind home plate.

  

The view from our seats

 

  

Failed attempt of a self portrait of the 3 of us

 

Dad and Ky enjoying the game

 

Dad and I trying to stay dry under the umbrella

 

Sibling love....and he's actually smiling!!

The next day we went to the Highline Walk that just opened in the city. It used to be the above ground train that ran through the city.

 

The old tracks

 

Walking along

 

The Hudson

 

  

Pretty flowers

 

And a bumble bee

It was a great weekend and a great way to celebrate Father's Day.

Update

Wow...I can't believe its been almost 2 months since I last posted!!! I'm still alive, don't worry! Things have been insanely busy. Let's see...

Work is good...busy...the kids have all moved up and we've been figuring out what the summer is going to look like.

I was able to get away for a week to the Outer Banks with my friend Amy and her extended family. It was a great week away!

SPACE has been keeping we really busy. I leave tomorrow for Brussels...the Baltimore trip leaves Saturday...and the NOLA trip leaves on July 4th! All our trips are pretty early this summer. I'm glad for that. I will actually get a summer to hang out instead of spending it preparing for a trip!

I'm sure a lot more has happened...but thats all I got for now! I will try to be better when I get back...

The Road to Brussels...

That's right! I'm heading to Brussels this summer!!! I've mentioned my friends the Doyles to you, that I met at Connect in Hungary two years ago. Well this summer I'm traveling back over to Europe with 5 others for Serve the City Brussels. Serve the City is all about serving people in need in practical ways. Every need has a name, and every name has a story. Serve the City wants to know people by their names and stories rather than by their needs.




June 25th I will board a plane with Andrea, Trevin, Robyn, John, and Chad and head to Brussels to serve until July 8th. We are hoping to learn and experience STC and bring it home with us to replicate it within our surrounding communities.

To tackle the high cost of this trip we are doing several fundraisers. Andrea and I did some yard work for money. We learned how to thatch a yard. It was hard work, but we had a lot of fun!!

 

The lawn bags were HUGE!

I had some trouble getting out of the bag! 

All our hard work!

Please pray with me for our trip. Pray for unity among the 6 of us, for safety in our travels, for our fundraising, and for the people who we will be serving.

Showering my dear friend Rachael...

My dear friend Rachael and I have been friends since high school. She is so near and dear to my heart...we even have the same birthday!! Rachael is pregnant with her first child, Brooke, due June 4th. Friends of her mom threw her a baby shower the other week. It was so great to see her and some other friends from high school. The shower was during the few days of our summer like weather...so it was a hot one!!

 

Mommy to be!

Tiauna and I...we were the only ones there from high school who weren't pregnant!

This was Rach's favorite book/song growing up. Now she can read it to Brooke.

I knitted a baby blanket for Brooke...my first one ever!! 

Me and and the preggo girls...Jen, Rachael, and Becka

Grandma and Mommy to be

They are going to make wonderful parents! 

Hip and Purple 

(our high school nicknames for each other...don't ask)

Learning when to say no...

Saying "No" is something that I am constantly learning to do. I love to help people and do things for them...but too many times I have said yes to things that I really shouldn't have. I read this blog post today by Mark Batterson, the paster at National Community Church and author of the book In a Pit With A Lion on a Snowy Day. If you haven't read it yet...do it! Its a great read!!!

Friends and the Wii...

I have been blessed with some amazing friends. Whenever we get together there is always fun and laughter. Bryan bought Rock Band the other week...so we ecided to try it out! I learned quickly that I am not a Rock star! It was a great night! Here are some pics to enjoy...

 

Bryan Rockin out on the guitar!

I gave the drums a try with Jeff's help...I was PATHETIC! 

Steve-O giving the guitar a go!

Brian looking like a Rock Star! 

Leslie and I gave singing a go...she was much better than I was!

Jeff, Bryan, and Brian...Rock n Roll! 

I was much better with the guitar...and Les was good on the drums! 

Meghan loved her man's singing!